I’ve been thinking a lot about growth lately. Keeping in tangent with how we feel turning 21, I’ve been thinking about how far we’ve come in terms of personal growth.
Ultimately I think that as much as I’ve grown in terms of self-esteem, there will always be underlying self-doubt. When I say self-doubt, I mean the kind that gnaws at you no matter how many times the earth orbits the sun. In terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the self-doubt stems from the needs of love and belonging, esteem, as well as self-actualization.
Love and belonging will always be a constant need, hence the rise of social media.
We crave connection, no matter the medium. As much as I tell myself that I am loved and cared for, there is always the underlying doubts that it isn’t enough. It could be the distance or it could be the process of settling into a new place, but making new friends and finding that connection will always be a challenge, particularly when you’re growing older.
With that said, I want to emphasize how glad I am to have you as my rock. When you’ve found that person you click with, you just know it. That’s you.
No matter how far we’re apart, I know that there will always be someone rooting for me. You are the person I can count on to tell me when I’m being ridiculous and when I make complete sense when I’m plagued with doubts. You are the person I can paint out my hopes, wishes, worries, and despair with, knowing full well that there won’t be any judgment. You are my ultimate go-to, the one who would say yes to all my crazy ideas and spontaneous trips. You’ve stuck by me when I was at my worst and my best.
When I saw that HONY post about traveling with that someone towards the end of our lives, no one else came to mind but you.
So here’s to more ups and downs.
I heard your 20s will be the wildest and I’m looking forward to all the years to come, knowing full well that you’ll be by my side be it physically or in spirits. Sending you all my love on this side of the world.
I miss you.